I had just finished the outline of the most recent revision of my Archetypal Human framework, when I stumbled upon this short clip featuring a midwife giving advice to future mothers.
The midwife is a classic example of an Elder archetype. Given the absence of Elders in our culture, it is always refreshing to hear words of wisdom from those who have been there and done that. But the particular way this midwife framed the issue of motherhood fits exactly with my notion of archetypal transitions more generally.
Long-term readers might remember the way I like the frame the archetypal progression of life using the levels of being concept. More recently, I’ve been playing around with a modification on this using the concept of “identity”.
We can distinguish four main dimensions of identity throughout our lives and we can map each of these against the four main archetypes. This gives us the following table:-
Child | Orphan | Adult | Elder | |
Spiritual | N/A | Initiate | Member | Elder |
Political | N/A | N/A (in the modern West) | Citizen | Mentor |
Economic | N/A | Student, apprentice | Practitioner | Mentor |
Biological | Childhood | Puberty/Adolescence | Maturity | Senescence |
I have left two major items off the above list since they are the two which are the focus of the midwife’s advice: marriage and parenthood.
Marriage doesn’t fit into the list easily is because it is actually a combination of all the other identities. Marriage is a political, economic, biological (sexual) and possibly spiritual (esoteric) relationship. Marriage is also directly related to the question of childbirth since marriage has traditionally been the institution for the raising of children.
For these reasons, marriage is usually undertaken by individuals who have already achieved maturity in at least the biological, economic, and political domains. The idea that marriage should be predicated on romantic love is a nice one, but not widely practiced throughout history since most societies do not have the level of wealth to be able to afford such luxuries, at least among the general population.
The question of marriage and the related issue of childbirth raises an important asymmetry between the sexes. Modern feminists have focused on the fact that, for most of history, women have been denied a political and economic role in society. More specifically, the Adult political and economic role for women has been marriage itself, and the associated rearing of children in the household.
Viewed in isolation, this does seem to be a limiting factor in the lives of women. However, when we examine the bigger picture including the biological domain, we find that there is another aspect to asymmetry, one that is almost never talked about.
For women, all four of the archetypal phases of life have a definitive biological metamorphosis associated with them. But this is not true for men. Focusing just on the biological level of being, we can map the phases for the two sexes as follows:-
Men | Women | |
Child | Childhood | Childhood |
Orphan | Puberty | Puberty |
Adult | Pregnancy-Childbirth | |
Elder | Menopause |
Not only are men missing the biological markers for the transitions into the Adult and Elder archetypes, a very strong case can be made that puberty is not as dramatic a transition for men as it is for women.
This asymmetry on the biological plane corresponds to the aforementioned asymmetry at the socio-political level that modern feminists have been keen to emphasise. In societies as radically different as aboriginal Australia and medieval Europe, men are initiated into the socio-political institutions of society at puberty, while women are not. Even in cultures where women do receive some form of initiation, the initiation given to men is universally more onerous and often involves significant tests of physical hardship.
When viewed this way, it does rather seem that most societies have intuited that men need a little extra help with the marking of the archetypal transitions of life precisely because they lack the biological “initiation” that women get for free. The extra socio-political emphasis placed on male initiation and marriage customs could actually be seen as a way to ensure men are properly inducted into the institutions of family and society and to prevent them from abdicating their responsibilities.
I suspect a big part of the difficulty facing men these days is due to the absence of socio-cultural initiation. This has become even more pronounced in the last few decades with the de-industrialisation of most western nations, since even old-fashioned factory or mining work was a form of physical initiation for young men. Meanwhile, the advent of no-fault divorce has meant that marriage has lost much of its sense of importance as well.
With the loss of socio-political initiation, many men never get to experience a genuine phase change between the Child – Orphan archetypes. This is surely one of the main reasons behind the emergence of the man-child phenomenon: the fully grown adult living in his parents’ basement playing computer games (or some variation on that). Women do not have this luxury since the biological metamorphoses associated with the archetypal phases of life happen for women whether they like it or not.
Now, clearly, motherhood is an optional thing, especially since contraception and abortion are freely available these days. But, for women who do become mothers, the archetypal change is guaranteed, at least at the biological level. It’s perhaps for this reason that the advice of the midwife in the aforementioned video is so poignant because what she describes is the essence not just of the motherhood transition but of all archetypal transitions in life.
If we look at the main points the midwife makes, she begins with the statement that when a woman has a baby, her life will change in ways that she can’t know in advance. That is true of all the major transitions in life. You can read as much about them as you like, but the only way to truly experience the change is to go through it.
With the Adult initiations of life, it’s also well to remember that these traditionally came with significant risk. Rates of death for women during childbirth have been in double digit percentages for most of history. Meanwhile, initiation for young men inevitably entailed military training with the non-zero chance of having to put it into action on the battlefield. The archetypal transitions were not just psychological or theoretical challenges. They were very real.
None of that is true for a modern westerner, and that leads to the next point the midwife makes in the video that the attitude towards becoming a mother tends to be negative in the general culture. You may feel that you have “lost all the good things in life”, she says. But this same attitude can be applied to any archetypal transition because any transition means giving up whatever was good about the old archetype in order to embrace the new.
An argument can and has been made that it would be best to remain a child forever, since childhood is a time of wonder and joy where anything is possible. Similarly, you can argue that it would be better to remain an Adult and not have to become an Elder with the physical difficulties that inevitably come with old age. Some pessimists have even argued that it would be better never to be born in the first place, and thus the archetypal transformation of birth is a terrible thing for them.
The truth is that transitioning from one archetype to the next involves giving up the positive aspects of the old archetype. If you focus on those, the transition seems like a loss. But you can equally well focus on the good things about the archetype you are moving into. In fact, this is what the midwife does in the video. She calls motherhood a “promotion”, one that comes with more responsibility.
It’s for this reason that I like to refer to the archetypes as mini-lives. That means that each transition between them is a mini-death. This might sound like hyperbole, but it is the implication of what the midwife says. To become a mother is to “lose the goods things” about not being a mother. You lose them forever, too, since you can never go back to the state of not being a mother (or never having been one).
The final point that the midwife makes is the most surprising and what caught my attention when I first saw the video. She says that when you become a Parent, you cease to be a person and instead become a “role”. What is a “role” if not an archetype? I interpret her statement as saying that you become an archetype when you become a parent. However, once again, this point is equally true of every other archetypal phase of life.
To be born is to step into the archetype of the Child. To go through puberty and initiation into the institutions of society is to become the Orphan archetype. As Adults, we manifest several archetypes in line with the various features of our identity. If we become a Parent, then we are either a Mother or Father and we take on that role. We also have our economic, political, and spiritual identities and these are all archetypes too.
When people ask what job you do, they are asking for your economic archetype. You tell them butcher, baker, or candlestick maker, and they rightly feel that they know something about you. Similarly, in western nations, you become a Citizen with the right to vote and other political rights and responsibilities. If you are religious, you manifest the archetype of the Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, Buddhist etc etc.
All these are the Exoteric aspects of the archetypes, and it is a curious feature of our society that to manifest an archetype is nowadays seen as limiting to the point of oppression. That is why the midwife’s advice is interesting, because it goes against the default assumptions of our culture. We want to be individuals. The midwife’s advice suggests that it’s perfectly okay, even desirable, just to be an archetype.
Is that true?
The one part of the midwife’s speech that I disagree with is the idea that we stop being a “person” when we become a “role”. The “person” part of the equation is what I call the Esoteric dimension, while the “role” part is the Exoteric. Once we understand that these are two sides of the same coin, we see that neither one nor the other is “correct”. Rather, there should be a balance.
It is possible to lose yourself in an archetypal role and cease to be an individual. I don’t see that as desirable any more than it’s desirable to assert your individuality by attempting to manifest no archetype at all. Somewhere between the extreme esotericism of modern western culture and the Exoteric emphasis of the midwife’s advice lies the right balance between fulfilling a role and being an individual.