Category: Other

2022

America: Hey, Russia, what you doin’?
Russia: Invading Ukraine.
America: What!? No, don’t.
Russia: Too late.
Europe: Outrage! We must respond.
America: You’re right. Let’s sit down together and make a deal.
Europe: A deal? Are you crazy? There’s only one way to resolve this.
America: What?
Europe: An interminable land war.
America: A what?
Europe: An interminable land war.
America: That doesn’t sound like a very good idea.
Europe: It’s European tradition. You wouldn’t understand.
America: Alright. You’re the civilised ones.

Three years later…

America: Hey, so this war is still going. Can we finally make a deal now?
Europe: Absolutely not.
America: But it’s been ages and there’s still no end in sight.
Europe: What part of “interminable land war” did you not understand?
America: But it’s been 3 years!
Europe: 3 years is nothing. Remember the 30 years war? Or the 100 years war? Boy, those were the days.
America: Okay, but we’re paying for this shit.
Europe: Typical American. Only care about money.
America: So, when is it going to end?
Europe: It ends when one side is militarily and economically ruined. Admittedly, sometimes both sides get ruined.
America: Why don’t you stop before you get to that point?
Europe: I dunno. It’s tradition.
America: Fine. You keep fighting. We’re getting out before that.
Europe: Cowards!
America: Au revoir.

Just a quick note to say I won’t have time to post this week due to a personal commitment . Fear not, though, I’ll be back with your regular scheduled blog post on December 5th.

Til then, here’s a picture of a quokka, Australia’s most photogenic marsupial.

I was rummaging through the cupboard recently and came across an old notebook containing some poems. I make no claims to being a poet. Every now and then a poem pops into my head fully formed and I scribble it down. Some of the poems in the notebook I quite liked and so I thought I’d put them on here for something different. The first two make a nice pair and the third one captures how I am feeling about my home city of Melbourne right now. See what you think.

Blood Brothers

I curled myself up into a tiny ball
So small
I almost disappeared

I have been distant from you
I have even been distant from my self
But this distance and this space allowed me to see
I saw the great space around us
And that we ourselves are so wide and large and tall
I do not want to cut us down

Necessarily, I come now from afar
And I may speak a strange tongue
If I come now bearing the knife
Know that I will not cut you down
But if I do cut you
Then we will be blood brothers
For I too have felt the knife
And I too have bled

Goodbye

I told you about joy
But you were thinking of your pain
I told you about pain
But you were laughing

Around sunset
We set out again
The sky was red
And we were out of step

Fools, we two
Two tongues wagging out of tune
Unable even to make sense of the dissonance

My ears could not hear you
And yours not me
Each other scarcely could we see
We were not made for such

So, it’s time
That you go your way
And I go mine

One day we may meet again
And see each other for the first

Til then

Goodbye

Check It Out

Check it out, said Jesus
The suits are back in town
Bring petrol, guns and ammo
We’ll burn the whole fuckin’ thing down
And don’t worry about that love stuff
Didn’t work out anyway
This is the bad muthafucker Jesus
Come back to save the day